Two Parents or One ....

"What is better, two parents or one ? " is a question that i was asked to answer a couple weeks back . The question really stuck with me. As it may come to no one's surprise, I responded both. I guess this is because I was raised in single-parent home, and as a child I would envy those who had both parents around.  None the less, I do believe one strong parent is good enough too. 

 Although I do not have children of my own, I do believe a parent who is well grounded, strong-willed, and has the ability to guide their child on the right path, can raise that child to be successful.  25% of black population's children are raised in single parent homes. SAD BUT EXTREMELY TRUE !!!  And even though the other 75% don't have both parents present, some have still managed to graduate college, become successful lawyers, doctors, etc.(This is not saying that children who are raised in homes with both parents cannot turn out to be some effed up individuals. The stats say and have proven that it  is less likely.) Being a product of a single parent home there were several times when I struggled with understanding, and sometimes not understanding, why my father was/is never around.  I also thought about whether or not i would be a better person than I currently am. Despite his absence, like several other mothers around the world, my mother still expected to be all that i could be. 

 Despite the several things that a mother can provide her child with , she will NEVER be able to provide him/her with the type of love a father can give.  A man's delivery is totally different. Several young men and women have no idea what that love is.  In response to their ignorance, we begin to form our opinions about a man's love and they ways in which it should be displayed.  We have boys who don't understand what being a man is about, and what is expected of them. On the other hand, you have girl's looking for love from these boys who think they are men, yet neither one really have no clue. 

 I will like to make sure that you all, (my readers), do not think I'm here to bash single parents. I want us to realize and reflect on this, (what seems to be a),never ending cycle. I am proud to be a  product of a single-parent home and wouldn't change it for the world. But I  do wish that I can say my father was there, instead of just a father-figure. I have never had the opportunity to know what a father's love is like personally, and I do, at times, wish i did. Many of you reading this may or may not be able to relate. And if you cannot, I'm sure you know someone who can.  

 

Answer this question ..."Both parents or one?"

A New Chapter...Growtth, Dedication, & Maturity.

It was my mother who taught us to stand up to our problems, not only in the world around us but in ourselves.-Dorothy Pitman Hughes

  
For the past two years I could not wait until the day I would have the opportunity to attend my own commencement.  At the beginning of each semester, I  remember constantly being asked by family and  friends how much longer would l be in school for. My response was always, "Not much longer, just another year or so." I guess  giving the same answer to the "concerned" people the same helped to satisfy my own anxiety. (In fact, I have been giving that same response since my sophomore year of college, the same time i had gotten over campus life.) Before then, I even had this whole plan that by the age of 21,I would have both my bachelor's and my masters in Social Work. HA!!, clearly my life didn't go as planned. Because at the age of 22, (going on 23), I have just obtained my bachelor's degree, in one of the most rigorous programs, known Speech Language Pathology.  In my junior year, i decided to change my major from Social Work to Speech Language Pathology. This  is after being told by several professors that i wouldn't be able to handle such a hard program, and I should change my major to Criminal Justice. In my opinion, changing my major to CRJ would have been taking the easy way out. Changing my major in my Junior year of college happened to be one of the best, but hardest decisions I have made in my life. I have NO REGRETS !! This is despite the many times I cried , and the several other times I called my mother and told her ,"I was done with the pointless BS classes and was going to dropout." But unlike alot of other people in the world, I did it and the feeling of my success is exhilarating. 

  College, (for me), equalled growth not independence. Completing my High School education at  a college preparatory boarding school had already taken care of my desire to be independent. Aside from independence, I was dedicated. I was not going to let anyone get in the way of my success. Do not get me wrong, being independent and wearing this tough skin, does not mean I didn't make mistakes. This is because  I was so independent that I was reluctant to ask for help when it was needed.  I was dedicated to  me , myself, and I.  Therefore, for every mistake I made , I paid a large personal consequence. These consequences only made me stronger.  But it also humbled me. I walked on CW Post campus with an "IDGAF, I been there, done that " attitude, but it changed quickly. I learned that being humble will get you much further in life. I wasn't little "trice" anymore. I was maturing into a young woman, and I AM EXTREMELY PROUD OF THAT.

     Maturity has allowed me to look at the world in more ways than just one, which in the past, was usually just mine.  My friendships and relationship with various family members has also been strengthened.  My tolerance and desire to take things slow has also increased. I am in no rush to do anything. And although it may sound cliche, I do believe that "good things do come to those who wait." My respect for my mother has grown 100% . It has also forced me to be more understanding when things do not go my way or don't go as planned. My patience and dedication to school for  5 years paid off.  I am ready to open a new chapter and enter this crazy real world that we all have to live in. I FEEL GREAT AND I WILL CONTINUE TO TRAVEL ON THIS PATH NAMED SUCCESS.